Nightmare Mansion is well-named; it's home to some of the scariest creatures and monsters you can imagine! You're a macho muscle man who's been sent out to rescue your brother Buster from the mansion, but the mansion is too frightening even for you. Exploring the mansion reveals objects which you need to collect to gain access to other rooms, and you must also shoot any monsters which appear, otherwise the 'terrometer' will increase and you'll lose energy fast. It's not easy to get the hang of the game initially, but stick with it and you might well like it.

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This is a straightforward platform game that sees you, as a knight, fighting off numerous ghosts, zombies and other monsters. The first level is set in a graveyard, where you have to jump over gravestones and several rivers. The second level sees you on a ship, with more platform jumping involved, and the third level is in a dark cave. After that, the levels start repeating. This game is really showing its age – the graphics are basic, the concept is totally unoriginal, the collision detection is woeful, and above all else, it's too hard.

See also: Ghouls 'n' Ghosts.

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5

Ghouls
(Micro Power, 1985)

This is essentially Pac-Man transformed into a platform game. You are trapped in a haunted mansion and have to eat all the jewels on the screen before you can go to the next level. On each level, you may encounter ghouls, moving platforms, spikes and springs, and you'll also have to jump between platforms. So why does the game score such a low mark? Well, it's because this is perhaps the most impossibly difficult game I have ever played. Platforms and spikes are positioned so that you have to be pixel-perfect when jumping over or between them. Furthermore, it's very difficult to get into exactly the right position. This is one of those games that will make you want to smash your computer in a rage of frustration, and it is best left well alone.

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Once again King Arthur must take on and defeat the evil forces in his kingdom in this, the sequel to Ghosts 'n' Goblins. A simplistic platformer, you jump around, avoiding obstacles and traps, while shooting the various nefarious supernatural monsters that come at you from all directions using a variety of weapons. Large bosses have to be defeated at the end of every level and as before, you only have your set of knight's armour and your pants to protect you! It looks only slightly nicer than its prequel but it lacks that game's excellent music and original gameplay. If anything, it's not the conversion of this game that makes it poor but the actual arcade original itself.

See also: Ghosts 'n' Goblins.

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Secret documents belonging to NATO have been stolen by another country, and you have been parachuted into the jungles of that country, along with Killer, your dog. However, you have become separated from Killer, so you must find him first, and then you need to find the heavily armed enemy camp and the helicopter base. You also have a cypher which receives satellite communications, and a torch for seeing in the caves, and you'll need to pick up magazines to refill your gun. Most of your time is spent trudging around the jungles and the underground caves, and shooting any soldiers that cross your path, and before long, the game becomes boring. Furthermore, it's an ugly Spectrum port, and the text is littered with spelling mistakes.

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Gilbert: Escape from Drill
(Again Again, 1989)

Four pieces of Gilbert's dustbin have been scattered across his home city on the planet of Drill, and if he can't find them all within the time limit, he won't be able to travel to Earth to sign a new contract for his TV show. To find the parts, you must find a Milk Bar, go to an arcade cabinet and play a mini-game; if you win, you'll get a clue to the location of one of the parts. You can shoot aliens by firing snot at them (yuk!), and if you shoot enough aliens on a screen, a Hoverjelly will appear; shooting it allows you to collect either a tin of beans (allowing you to float – guess how!) or a slice of cake (which cancels the floating effect). However, some of the mini-games are very difficult to complete and rely more on luck than skill, and unless you win, the parts won't appear. The Spectrum-like graphics also reduce the game's appeal, although the music is quite good.

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As Gilligan, your job is to collect the gold bags and put them all into the wheelbarrow while avoiding the shafts, bandits and trolleys. In order for Gilligan to collect the gold, he must pick up a gold bag and deliver it to the wheelbarrow, dropping it to collect a bonus. The bonus also acts as a time limit, so you lose one of your three lives if it reaches zero. Given the era of the game, there's nothing ground-breaking about it. The graphics are fine and somewhat cute, even though the colours clash. There's no tune and few sound effects which work well with the graphics, and the gameplay is straightfoward but effective. While the game is small (three screens), it has that great 'one more go' appeal.

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Gladiator
(Domark, 1986)

Marcus of Massina is a Roman gladiator who seeks freedom, but it will come at a price – he must win fourteen fights in the arena against other gladiators and become the Emperor's Champion. Even then you won't have enough money to buy your freedom, so you must gamble your earnings on the outcomes of other fights. Before each fight, you must select three weapons out of a total of 45, one of which must be a dagger; however, there is no information on how effective each weapon is. Your opponents are also extremely difficult to defeat. Maybe there is a certain combination of weapons that make it easier to defeat them, but with 45 weapons to choose from, hardly anyone is going to search for it. The graphics are very poor, the sound effects are limited to a few beeps, and the controls are awkward, particularly if you're using the keyboard.

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Glass
(Quicksilva, 1986)

The planet of Hygon has been run over by aliens who have built three cities on the surface, so you have been sent there to kill as many aliens as you can and blow up the cities with nuclear weapons. The game consists of several timed stages in which you do one of three things – shoot aliens, shoot bits off alien spaceships, or negotiate a 3D obstacle course of tower blocks that come towards you. You have to repeat these stages dozens of times (or so it seems), with slightly different aliens each time, until you reach even the first city. There is hardly any skill involved in this game at all, and the vast majority of players will go and play something else when they quickly realise just how incredibly repetitive this game is.

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Amsoft couldn't even spell Glenn's name correctly – tsk! Anyway, Glenn Hoddle was a very well known footballer in the 1980s, and then became a manager, and eventually, the coach for the England team. You don't get to play him in this terrible game, however. Why is it terrible? The main reason is because of the ridiculous method of controlling your players. You press the fire button to select a player close to the ball, but the wrong player is nearly always chosen, and he will often walk (not run) towards the ball in the wrong direction and allow the computer-controlled team to take it. It's really difficult for you to take the ball, and you can only watch as the computer scores a goal every ten seconds – yes, really! This is one football game that's at the bottom of the league.

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